Swimming Recount Blog post
WALT: identify area of need from writing sample feedback and make a conscious effort to improve that area.
SC: Co-constructed
- paragraphs if a focus
- Punctuation that you don’t normally use
- similes and vocabulary that you dont normally use - thesaurus
- Ideas - simple to complex. Lots of detail.
My focus is vocabulary.
The cold icy water splashed my face as I jumped into the pool. I popped up as the warm afternoon breeze hit my face, and next to me Keelin and Zoe came out of the water breaching like whales. “ Sup” I told them they looked at me like a was a creature of the deep. Thats when I noticed Zoe was wearing her hat it was my turn to look at her like she was a creature of the deep. “ Why do you have your hat on” her answer was “ I burn easily” Then someone pushed her from behind she fell over her hat got soaking wet. “ Noooooooo” she exclaimed dramatically. Thats when the war started. Not actually, the boys
( Zane, Matthew, Derek and Davin ) started trying to steal Zoe’s hat and the girls ( Zoe, Keelin and I ) were trying to get it back we got it back and then they tried again and again and again but we got it back every time and that ended in a splash war which the girls won that as well. So all in all GIRLS RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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